“Perfection is the voice of the oppressor” ~ Anne Lamott.
I know this journey well – the endless striving and anxiety were always big ones for me. The relationship between perfectionism and low self-worth is as hard on the heart as the soul. When you are a perfectionist, what you do, the decisions you make, the way you look, there is a persistent feeling of never being good enough. This emptiness can be debilitating and result in losing passion and beauty in this life.
Sometimes, when we set unrealistic expectations for ourselves, failure to meet those goals can destroy our self-worth because it hurts if there is a perceived failure. You might be wrestling with perfectionism if there is no middle ground. Perhaps you are easily devastated by criticism and cannot laugh at your own mistakes or allow yourself any room for errors. You obsess about the minor details of a task. Or, you are unable to take total satisfaction in a well-done project or launch and tend to find fault or move on quickly before you see the positive outcomes that have come from all your hard work.
She is a hard one to overcome! Oh, did I struggle with the “P” word. My religious background, previous life as a ballerina, and a career in the beauty industry was once measured with unhealthy and unrealistic standards. Perfectionism has taken some time to dismantle and get to my truth.
Don’t get me wrong, it is, of course, important to develop high personal standards, excellence and constantly strive towards goals in life. It’s the very thing I love about the ambitious women in my life. Nonetheless, it is critical to find balance as the pursuit of perfection can send us into a crazy-making spiral of unhappiness and isolation, which is destructive.
Turning Perfectionism Around, Restoring Self-Worth and Self-Love
When you unhook from the spirit of perfection’s grip on you, it opens up space for self-confidence, self-love, and self-worth to grow. Without the endless energy-draining and persistent need to do everything 100%, you can set reasonable levels of achievement for yourself and begin to discern what is good enough and what needs more effort. You can start to invite the love, compassion and embodiment of heart-centered real LOVE allowing you to honour love rituals, daily passions and relationships.
If you feel this is you, first of all, I want you to know I’m here for you, and I can support you. I have a video on my social media channels that dives deeper into this.
If you choose to go deeper, I’m happy to schedule a free call and make this year extraordinary together.
Love you,
Rena XO
